Monday, August 20, 2012

{Almost three months old}

Eleven weeks ago, Gracie rocked our world and completely changed our lives for the better. I had no idea that I would love her so much or that she would love us so much. I can't help but laugh when she cries to be held by one of us and as soon as we pick her up, she gives a gummy grin. Josh loves playing with her and doing whatever he can to make her smile. And she just talks up a storm to him. I can't get over how much she's changed in three months and she has so much personality.

Some of the nicknames we have come up with for her are:
Bubbles (Josh calls her that because of her spit bubbles that she creates)
Gracie May May
Punky Doodle
Pretty Bitty
Munchkin

Her favorite sounds are white noise and train sounds that are on the white noise app. She loves looking at the wall by her changing table, where all the teapots and "book" shelves sit. Her eyes wander to the colors and when I turn on the machine in her room that creates images on the ceiling. These are things I want to remember years from now when she's running all over the place and I'm trying to keep up with her changes everyday.

I was re-reading past blogs that I wrote during my pregnancy. Gracie is more magical than we could have ever imagined. I know it's cheesy to say, but she is our reason for everything. I simply want to give her everything the world has to offer and I want to give her all of my love. I think she makes me a better person and helps me grow. Not only would I give up anything and anyone for her, but I have sacrificed things for her and will do so for the rest of my life. If I have to choose, Gracie will always win and that's the way it should be; I'm just glad I realized it before she got shortchanged. She will get every little bit of me and I want every little bit of her; especially those cute little toesies that I love to kiss! I know someday, though, she won't let me kiss those toesies or hug her all the time, so I better get all the snuggles in while I can.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Gracie's Birth Story

At 2:30am on Thursday, May 31st, I was hit with my first hard, real contraction. I knew it wasn't a Braxton Hicks contraction because it woke me up from my slumber. They started coming every 20 minutes and throughout the day, progressed to every ten minutes. Around 1am on Friday, they were five minutes apart, and like anyone that has read What to Expect When You're Expecting, we knew what was coming: the trip to the hospital. So, with the suitcase already in the trunk, we drove to Freeman Health System hospital to the birthing center. They rushed me back right away and hooked me up to everything. I was giddy with excitement, thinking that we were going to be meeting our baby girl soon. They checked me and said that I was dilated to 4 centimeters. They kept me for an hour to see if I would progress more and to my dismay, I did not. The nurse told me that it was not active labor and sent us home, saying to come back when the contractions were three to five minutes apart. I went the entire next day with contractions coming every five minutes and they came hard every single time. I couldn't stand, sit, lie or do anything comfortably. The only thing that seemed to help even the slightest was standing with both my hands on a chair for support and swaying my hips during each contraction. Friday evening rolled around and my contractions started coming three to five minutes apart, so we made our way to the hospital, like the nurses instructed. The nurse that came in that night was pregnant as well and when she checked me and said  I was ONLY a four, I was flustered and just wanted to cry. She also kindly informed me, "Uh, your contractions are only going to get worse." Gee, thanks, like I didn't know that. *dirty stare paired up with the stink eye* Once again, we went home disappointed and anxious, wondering when we were supposed to go the hospital the next time and I worried I would be having a baby in our apartment.

I hadn't slept since Wednesday, so I finally took some Tylenol PM and got about three hours of surprisingly decent sleep. I woke up and my contractions calmed down enough to where I was able to eat and drink something and somewhat relax. But, it seemed as soon as I was completely relaxed, the contractions came full force again around five pm ish. I started writing down how far apart they were, starting from seven minutes, to five, to three...Josh left for the store at 6:30pm and was gone no more than twenty minutes and my contractions started coming one to two minutes apart. I was in complete panic when that happened. So, when he finally returned, I told him they were one minute apart and we booked it back up to the hospital. Josh became skeptical on the drive over because my contractions became sporadic as soon as we got in the car. He wouldn't say it out loud that he thought it was false again because he probably knew I would punch him in the face if he did. We did the routine check in that we had been used to the last three days and I think we were both expecting that I would still be dilated to 4cm when they checked me. The nurse came in at 7:30pm, checked me and declared that I was dilated SEVEN CENTIMETERS! I was so excited and asked the nurse if it would be alright if I cried from being so happy and she said yes! I looked over at Josh and he seemed a little bit shocked. When I told him to start making the phone calls to everyone, he said, "Are you sure?" I responded, "YES! This is the real thing! We are having a baby tonight!" I could tell from his demeanor that he was a mixture of emotions: shocked, scared, excited, unsure. And then the next thing I said to him, in a very demanding tone, "Oh! And go get my camera out of the car!"

My midwife, Susan Myers, came in and asked how I was feeling, complimenting how well I was doing breathing through my contractions. She asked, "So, you wanna just continue to breathe through them?" and I quickly responded, "NOPE! I want the epidural, please!" They moved me to the room where I would be birthing Gracie and started hooking me up to monitors and the IV. My mom and dad were the first to show up to the birthing room and I hugged my mom in excitement and anticipation for the miracle that was about to come into our lives. We all held hands as my dad prayed and at the end of the prayer, I was hit with one of the last hard contractions that I would feel before the anesthesiologist came in to give me my magnificent epidural. Josh asked me if I was scared about the pain of the epidural and I said, "If it feels like a bee sting like everyone says, then that's nothing compared to what I've felt in the last three days, so, no, I am not scared!" I must have been really ready for it and psyching myself out, because I asked the anesthesiologist, "Are my legs supposed to be numb already? I can't feel my toes," and he responded that he hadn't even inserted the epidural yet. That was my dumb blonde moment of the night.

Once the numbness took over my lower body, everything was smooth sailing. My mom and dad, Josh's mom, Brenda, and step dad, Marvin, and Kristin joined us while we waited. Many interesting things happened from 7cm to 10cm and I don't mean with my labor. At one point, my mom stole a wheelchair because there weren't enough chairs in the room for everyone. In an hour, I had progressed from 7cm to 9cm and was stuck at a nine for a while. When that happened, my mom said she would go grab a bag of pitocin herself and get things rolling without the nurse's help. At about 12:30am on June 3rd, I started getting tired and wanted to try to sleep, so we had the nurse ask everyone to step out for a little bit. I couldn't really sleep very well with my numb, dead legs, but apparently while Mom, Brenda and Kristin were out in the waiting room, they met up with some crazy lady that they just couldn't shake and just kept talking to them. We asked everyone to come back in and after a while, we started chatting and laughing about different things. I think everyone was feeling lethargic from the lack of sleep and giddyness from all the anticipation. At one point, while I had been turned on my side to help move the epidural, my mom said to me, "Well, I haven't put that much pressure on you, have I?" and I responded quickly with, "I BEG TO DIFFER!" My mom had me walking, bouncing on a ball and doing everything I could to get Gracie to come early the day it turned May 1st.

For hours, we all had watched the monitor like it was a thunderstorm forecast. I was glad that I didn't feel any sort of pain, only pressure, when I saw the red spike off the charts each contraction. Around the end, the I started feeling the pressure more and more and would hear reactions from everyone on what a major contraction that had been. I knew it was time to push when I felt a contraction that was so hard, it was pushing my catheter out. I paged for a nurse to come check me and had a feeling that it was the real deal. My midwife, Susan, came in and checked me for the first time since I was admitted and immediately said, "Yep! You are ready to push!" A mess of nurses came in and started prepping and preparing everything. Everyone came and hugged me and wished me luck and I remember my mom was the last hug and the final person to close the door behind them. I remember looking at Josh and seeing fear in his eyes, but he never showed it one time. He would just look at me and simply smile. At 4am, I began pushing. It felt completely natural to do what I felt my body had been built for and felt completely at ease as I pushed. The nurse, midwife and Josh were the best cheerleaders and were so supportive of me. I remember at one point, Susan asked, "Have you done this before? You're doing an incredible job!" I couldn't believe my midwife was making me laugh during delivery. She made me laugh again later in between contractions by saying, "Look at you go, mama, with your smoothly shaven legs!" I looked at Josh in between one of my contractions and asked if he was doing okay and Susan thought that was so sweet that I was concerned for him when I was the one delivering a baby. I responded, "Well, I just don't want him passing out on me! I need him!" After a few pushes, I nearly cried when I heard Susan say, "She's got a full head of dark hair!" Josh finally got brave at some point and looked down and I will never forget the indescribable look on his face. Before we knew it, they were lying me flat on my back for the final few pushes as a nurse and Josh held both of my legs. When I gave that final push at 4:38am and heard Gracie's first little whimper, I couldn't remember our lives before that very moment. As the bed was being reclined, it seemed to happen in super slow motion as the bed came up and I saw this beautiful creature that Josh and I had created together. They put her in my arms and I stared at her for a quiet second before bursting into tears with her. I looked at Josh and he was in complete awe of his daughter, Gracie May. He was in so much shock and awe, Susan had to remind him to take pictures. He snapped five perfect pictures of Gracie's first moments in this world. I watched as they cleaned Gracie off, completely distracted from whatever was going on around me and simply couldn't believe she was ours. Those chubby cheeks we saw in the ultrasound were finally here for us to kiss. She had dark hair like I did when I was a baby. Her lips were just like daddy's. That little nose was mine. But, she was equally ours and our new world to discover and love.











Wednesday, May 30, 2012

{40 WEEKS} Happy Due Date!

Well, today is my official due date and Gracie has yet to make her appearance in the world. While I am ready to have her in my arms, I am perfectly happy that she will be a healthy baby and made it the full forty weeks. I just can't believe how fast this month flew by, yet how long each day felt to get to her due date. Everyone made their predictions; the earliest prediction was May 12th and one has hoped that I would have her on June 12th. I am almost certain that she will be a June baby since there's only one day left in May, but she could have her own agenda and all we can do is wait and see.

The anticipations rises in the house with each passing day. With every contraction and moan follows the question from Josh, "Is this it? Is it time?" We've went through two false alarms at the birthing center, wondering if my water broke or not. Josh was so incredible and calm during our first false alarm at the birthing center. When I begin to get scared about labor and delivery, I feel completely at ease as soon as I remind myself that Josh will be at my side the entire time, casting his calm completely over me and sending me all of his strength and love.

Right now, I can only dream of what it's going to be like when she's here with us. I keep wondering what features she will get from Josh and I. Will she have his blonde hair, my dark hair or be a baldy baby? Are her lips going to be big and red like her dad's? Will her eyes stay blue like mine or turn hazel like his? I hope her little smile looks like his. I just can't wait to see him fall completely in love with her.

In these last few months of my pregnancy, I have felt more sure of myself and this change in our lives than any point in our lives before this. I want to be a better person and the best mother that I can be for Gracie. There have been emotional struggles during my pregnancy, but I have pushed them to the side for the ultimate happiness that I'll feel when Gracie is finally here with us.

How far along? 40 WEEKS!
Total weight gain: 15 pounds! Go me!
Maternity clothes? Yup, but I've been reminding myself when I shop that I won't be pregnant much longer and everything will fit better soon!
Stretch marks? Always.
Sleep: Sleep is great, minus waking up in the middle of the night to go pee!
Best moment this week: Spending time with my friends and family and waiting for Gracie to get here!
Miss Anything? Nothing in particular!
Movement: Her movements have turned into little nudges here lately with her due date being so close.
Food cravings: S'mores and Hackett's still!.
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks, I thought my water broke but I was wrong
Symptoms: Leg pain and swollen ankles and feet
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: So happy!
Looking forward to: When Gracie finally arrives! :)

Friday, April 27, 2012

{35 Weeks}

Oh goodness, I am such a bad blogger! It's been four weeks since I've done an actual blog update, but I am proud to say that I've been keeping up with my weekly belly updates pretty well. The two baby showers that followed the last blog update went very well and were incredibly beautiful. Gracie got so many things and has a lot of people that are looking forward to her arrival.

I also started seeing my midwife, Susan, every two weeks at the end of March and this Wednesday marks the beginning of our weekly appointments. The finish line is getting closer and I still can't believe it. Everything has been looking great at all of my appointments. I passed the three hour glucose test with flying colors (thank goodness). Other than some back and pelvic pain and being tired, I have been feeling pretty good. I get little spouts of energy and feel a desire to do dishes or laundry or just cleaning and organizing in general. At one of my previous appointments, Susan thought Gracie was measuring a little bigger than average, so I got to have a growth ultrasound scheduled for my next appointment. We found out that she was measuring perfectly at 5 pounds and we also finally got to see her face. She has the most beautiful big cheeks and her dad's big lips. Susan is guesstimating that Gracie will be about 8 pounds when she is born.


We've started packing the hospital bag and baby bag. I love all of the suggestions that I have received from friends and what I've researched on the internet. Mom got me a pretty little nightie to wear for while I'm in the hospital. My friend, Chelsi, strongly recommended Chapstick, so I grabbed three tubes at Target the other day. lol. I've still got a couple of things to get, like snacks for Josh so he doesn't pass out from malnutrition and some of the breastfeeding essentials, like nipple cream and pads. I've decided I'm going to give breastfeeding a try as long as my body cooperates with me and if Gracie cooperates, too. The only things we have left to pack are some extra clothes for Josh and I and the must have electronics, like my camera, chargers, laptop and such. Josh and I have been discussing a backup plan for when/if I go into labor and he's not here. We both have this eerie feeling that he will probably be in Miami or Grove for work. Thankfully, we've got a lot of people that have offered to come get me if I go into labor by myself. I've even heard from my mother in law that if need be, I can call my father in law, who used to be on the police force, and that he could probably get me an escort to the hospital. That would be a wild story to tell Gracie when she's older. :)

How far along? 35 weeks!
Total weight gain: 10 pounds, which I think is pretty good!
Maternity clothes? Of course. There's a lot more comfy clothes thrown in there, too. I love my pajama pants.
Sleep: I've had to resort to sleeping on my side and with a pillow between my knees to elevate my hips, but I get to sleep in, so that's a plus.
Best moment this week: Watching Josh put her bouncy looking toy together. He's gonna be such a sweet daddy.
Miss Anything? Sleeping on my stomach.
Movement: Everyday.
Food cravings: Hackett Hot Wings! :D
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: A few braxton hicks every now and then.
Symptoms: Heartburn, pelvic/back pain, swelling fingers and fatigue.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? Officially off as of the last week or so. Swelling fingers are not happy fingers. lol.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy.
Looking forward to: The arrival of our little girl!

Saturday, March 31, 2012

{31 Weeks}

We are in the single digits now! Nine weeks or less until Gracie makes her appearance into the the world. Everything is becoming more real lately. Like on Friday, I went and bought so many clothes for her. I see how little all these clothes are and am in total awe of the idea of how little Gracie will be, too. And today, we found a stroller/carrier/carseat combo. I told my mom it was a new feeling pushing a stroller around when I was pushing it to her car.

I am so excited that I was able to get together with Emily last Sunday and do some of my maternity pictures. The theme for part one of my maternity series was Alice in Wonderland. We had all the essentials, such as lace, books and pretty things. The timing and everything was perfect. Here is a collage of a few of my favorites.



And, a special guest appeared in my belly update this week. :)



How far along? 31 weeks!
Total weight gain: My next appointment is coming up on Tuesday, so I'm gonna guess that I've gained two more pounds?
Maternity clothes? A good mix of maternity and normal. Although, I tried on a normal shirt today and it was not going over the belly very easily. Gotta stay positive and remember that I will not be pregnant forever! lol.
Sleep: When I do sleep, it is good. It's when I have to wake up two or three times in the middle of the night to visit the potty that messes with my sleep! BOO! lol.
Best moment this week: The quiet moments at the end of the night when we're winding down and lying in bed and Josh is waiting to feel her kick.
Miss Anything? Just being able to drink pop or tea without feeling blah later.
Movement: Everyday.
Food cravings: Pizza bagels and fudge covered oreos. :D
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks, minimal ankle swelling and some finger swelling.
Symptoms: Heartburn, fatigue, endless hunger. The usual.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On, but I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to say that. lol.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy.
Looking forward to: Part two of my maternity pictures, which will include Josh this time, my baby shower(s) NEXT WEEKEND and the weekend after and finishing nesting and getting things ready for our sweet baby girl.

Friday, March 23, 2012

{30 Weeks}

I am a little late on updating the blog. We had an appointment this past Tuesday, which went very well. I only gained a pound and a half, which is a total of 2.5 pounds for the entire pregnancy, with weight gain and loss fluctuation, of course. My blood pressure was good and the only major topic of discussion was how I failed the first glucose test. Susan was very nice about it and said that 140 was passing and my blood sugar was at 145 that day, so I barely failed. She is confident that I will pass the dreaded three hour diabetes test, which I knocked out today. Between the new game, Angry Birds Space, a book, Mad Men on Netflix, texting and walking around Vintage Stock for a little bit, I managed to make the time pass. Thankfully, I didn't pass out or get sick from the test. I just left with a bruised left arm since she couldn't find a good vein in my right arm. Yay for getting stabbed four times in the arm. Not. lol.

I can hardly believe that it's almost the end of March. Things have been quiet around here for the most part and I feel like the weeks are just flying by so fast. I feel like that's something that I say a lot about losing time.

The other day, I went over to Jessica and Justin's to do newborn portraits with Maddox. I loved seeing them both in awe over him and how they have transitioned into being parents. It's a beautiful glimpse into a world that I am ready to embrace with Gracie.



How far along? 30 weeks!
Total weight gain: 2.5 pounds! Score!
Maternity clothes? Yup. My normal shirts just seem to be getting more and more stretched, too.
Sleep: Sleep is good, minus the weird, violent and vivid dreams.
Best moment this week: Hearing Gracie's heartbeat at our appointment
Miss Anything? Nothing in particular.
Movement: All the time. She kicked Josh's back the other night when we were falling asleep the other night.
Food cravings: Cheezies pizza and lucky charms cereal
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks, mostly. And I had a little swelling on my ankles the other day after an afternoon of pictures. Lol.
Symptoms: Heartburn, fatigue, endless hunger. The usual.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy.
Looking forward to: Part one of my maternity pictures this weekend, the two baby showers and lots of people flying in to visit in the next couple of weeks. :)