At 2:30am on Thursday, May 31st, I was hit with my first hard, real contraction. I knew it wasn't a Braxton Hicks contraction because it woke me up from my slumber. They started coming every 20 minutes and throughout the day, progressed to every ten minutes. Around 1am on Friday, they were five minutes apart, and like anyone that has read What to Expect When You're Expecting, we knew what was coming: the trip to the hospital. So, with the suitcase already in the trunk, we drove to Freeman Health System hospital to the birthing center. They rushed me back right away and hooked me up to everything. I was giddy with excitement, thinking that we were going to be meeting our baby girl soon. They checked me and said that I was dilated to 4 centimeters. They kept me for an hour to see if I would progress more and to my dismay, I did not. The nurse told me that it was not active labor and sent us home, saying to come back when the contractions were three to five minutes apart. I went the entire next day with contractions coming every five minutes and they came hard every single time. I couldn't stand, sit, lie or do anything comfortably. The only thing that seemed to help even the slightest was standing with both my hands on a chair for support and swaying my hips during each contraction. Friday evening rolled around and my contractions started coming three to five minutes apart, so we made our way to the hospital, like the nurses instructed. The nurse that came in that night was pregnant as well and when she checked me and said I was ONLY a four, I was flustered and just wanted to cry. She also kindly informed me, "Uh, your contractions are only going to get worse." Gee, thanks, like I didn't know that. *dirty stare paired up with the stink eye* Once again, we went home disappointed and anxious, wondering when we were supposed to go the hospital the next time and I worried I would be having a baby in our apartment.
I hadn't slept since Wednesday, so I finally took some Tylenol PM and got about three hours of surprisingly decent sleep. I woke up and my contractions calmed down enough to where I was able to eat and drink something and somewhat relax. But, it seemed as soon as I was completely relaxed, the contractions came full force again around five pm ish. I started writing down how far apart they were, starting from seven minutes, to five, to three...Josh left for the store at 6:30pm and was gone no more than twenty minutes and my contractions started coming one to two minutes apart. I was in complete panic when that happened. So, when he finally returned, I told him they were one minute apart and we booked it back up to the hospital. Josh became skeptical on the drive over because my contractions became sporadic as soon as we got in the car. He wouldn't say it out loud that he thought it was false again because he probably knew I would punch him in the face if he did. We did the routine check in that we had been used to the last three days and I think we were both expecting that I would still be dilated to 4cm when they checked me. The nurse came in at 7:30pm, checked me and declared that I was dilated SEVEN CENTIMETERS! I was so excited and asked the nurse if it would be alright if I cried from being so happy and she said yes! I looked over at Josh and he seemed a little bit shocked. When I told him to start making the phone calls to everyone, he said, "Are you sure?" I responded, "YES! This is the real thing! We are having a baby tonight!" I could tell from his demeanor that he was a mixture of emotions: shocked, scared, excited, unsure. And then the next thing I said to him, in a very demanding tone, "Oh! And go get my camera out of the car!"
My midwife, Susan Myers, came in and asked how I was feeling, complimenting how well I was doing breathing through my contractions. She asked, "So, you wanna just continue to breathe through them?" and I quickly responded, "NOPE! I want the epidural, please!" They moved me to the room where I would be birthing Gracie and started hooking me up to monitors and the IV. My mom and dad were the first to show up to the birthing room and I hugged my mom in excitement and anticipation for the miracle that was about to come into our lives. We all held hands as my dad prayed and at the end of the prayer, I was hit with one of the last hard contractions that I would feel before the anesthesiologist came in to give me my magnificent epidural. Josh asked me if I was scared about the pain of the epidural and I said, "If it feels like a bee sting like everyone says, then that's nothing compared to what I've felt in the last three days, so, no, I am not scared!" I must have been really ready for it and psyching myself out, because I asked the anesthesiologist, "Are my legs supposed to be numb already? I can't feel my toes," and he responded that he hadn't even inserted the epidural yet. That was my dumb blonde moment of the night.
Once the numbness took over my lower body, everything was smooth sailing. My mom and dad, Josh's mom, Brenda, and step dad, Marvin, and Kristin joined us while we waited. Many interesting things happened from 7cm to 10cm and I don't mean with my labor. At one point, my mom stole a wheelchair because there weren't enough chairs in the room for everyone. In an hour, I had progressed from 7cm to 9cm and was stuck at a nine for a while. When that happened, my mom said she would go grab a bag of pitocin herself and get things rolling without the nurse's help. At about 12:30am on June 3rd, I started getting tired and wanted to try to sleep, so we had the nurse ask everyone to step out for a little bit. I couldn't really sleep very well with my numb, dead legs, but apparently while Mom, Brenda and Kristin were out in the waiting room, they met up with some crazy lady that they just couldn't shake and just kept talking to them. We asked everyone to come back in and after a while, we started chatting and laughing about different things. I think everyone was feeling lethargic from the lack of sleep and giddyness from all the anticipation. At one point, while I had been turned on my side to help move the epidural, my mom said to me, "Well, I haven't put that much pressure on you, have I?" and I responded quickly with, "I BEG TO DIFFER!" My mom had me walking, bouncing on a ball and doing everything I could to get Gracie to come early the day it turned May 1st.
For hours, we all had watched the monitor like it was a thunderstorm forecast. I was glad that I didn't feel any sort of pain, only pressure, when I saw the red spike off the charts each contraction. Around the end, the I started feeling the pressure more and more and would hear reactions from everyone on what a major contraction that had been. I knew it was time to push when I felt a contraction that was so hard, it was pushing my catheter out. I paged for a nurse to come check me and had a feeling that it was the real deal. My midwife, Susan, came in and checked me for the first time since I was admitted and immediately said, "Yep! You are ready to push!" A mess of nurses came in and started prepping and preparing everything. Everyone came and hugged me and wished me luck and I remember my mom was the last hug and the final person to close the door behind them. I remember looking at Josh and seeing fear in his eyes, but he never showed it one time. He would just look at me and simply smile. At 4am, I began pushing. It felt completely natural to do what I felt my body had been built for and felt completely at ease as I pushed. The nurse, midwife and Josh were the best cheerleaders and were so supportive of me. I remember at one point, Susan asked, "Have you done this before? You're doing an incredible job!" I couldn't believe my midwife was making me laugh during delivery. She made me laugh again later in between contractions by saying, "Look at you go, mama, with your smoothly shaven legs!" I looked at Josh in between one of my contractions and asked if he was doing okay and Susan thought that was so sweet that I was concerned for him when I was the one delivering a baby. I responded, "Well, I just don't want him passing out on me! I need him!" After a few pushes, I nearly cried when I heard Susan say, "She's got a full head of dark hair!" Josh finally got brave at some point and looked down and I will never forget the indescribable look on his face. Before we knew it, they were lying me flat on my back for the final few pushes as a nurse and Josh held both of my legs. When I gave that final push at 4:38am and heard Gracie's first little whimper, I couldn't remember our lives before that very moment. As the bed was being reclined, it seemed to happen in super slow motion as the bed came up and I saw this beautiful creature that Josh and I had created together. They put her in my arms and I stared at her for a quiet second before bursting into tears with her. I looked at Josh and he was in complete awe of his daughter, Gracie May. He was in so much shock and awe, Susan had to remind him to take pictures. He snapped five perfect pictures of Gracie's first moments in this world. I watched as they cleaned Gracie off, completely distracted from whatever was going on around me and simply couldn't believe she was ours. Those chubby cheeks we saw in the ultrasound were finally here for us to kiss. She had dark hair like I did when I was a baby. Her lips were just like daddy's. That little nose was mine. But, she was equally ours and our new world to discover and love.
